Advice about Peace Corps from an RPCV

The single most often asked question I get about Peace Corps, and the one I remember asking is: I always hear all these great stories and experiences. I want to hear the bad stuff. The things that might make me crazy and regret my decision. So please let me have it.

So here is my answer:

Red Tape
Make no mistake, you are joining a government organization. This means that there are policies that WILL NOT make sense to you. There are restrictions you MUST adhere to. There are forms and more forms and more forms. This is frustrating. One policy is that if you are out of the country during a weekend, this counts as your yearly vacation time. "But why should it count if weekends don't usually count????" That's what most volunteers complain about. What they don't realize is that they are volunteers 24/7. This means that if they're away from their sites and in the country, they're STILL PCVs. They're STILL representing the country. As soon as you leave, you stop representing America to your host country. Still, this red tape is annoying to many volunteers.



Down Time
It amuses me so much to hear future volunteers talk about how much they'll do at their site. They get the idea that they'll land in country and everyone will be so excited to see them and they'll have so many projects and be so busy. The reality is that a LOT of Peace Corps is the down time. In Ukraine the wintertime is harsh. It feels like it gets dark at 4pm, people stay inside, it's freezing cold. And you find yourself at home sitting, doing nothing. "I'll go visit my neighbors!" Well, what if they're suspicious of you and want you to leave them alone? (Yes, this happened to me). I personally watched a lot of tv. Some people read a lot of books. Others called their friends. Regardless, you will find your self with a LOT of time on your hands. Peace Corps is NOT just about doing your job. It's about living in the country.



Not properly utilized/not being NEEDED
Sadly, this has happened to many a volunteer. In some cases the site just doesn't want the person to do ANYTHING but their job, which in Ukraine means teaching English. Even though the volunteer may have grant writing experience, the site may not care. The volunteer may find that the host country nationals, while SAYING they wanted to help or get something done, may not actually have any follow through. Additionally, many volunteers feel like their skills and talents are going to waste. They have a lot of experience working on computers or with adults, and end up teaching children. This leads to a lot of frustration. Additionally, many felt like "Ukraine doesn't really NEED our help!" and they ended up leaving, wishing they'd been selected for a country that REALLY needed help.

Not appreciated
When you leave your home, your friends, and your country for two years, it's not unreasonable to think that you'll be appreciated. Your host country will welcome you, you'll be a celebrity, people will thank you, and you will have made a difference. But what if you end up in a town like my friend, whose neighbors kept telling her things like "You need to stop buying so many raisins" or "Stop running. It's dangerous for your health" or worse: they wouldn't allow her to help the students who were preparing for English tests. Imagine being bullied by people whose language you barely speak, who will reluctantly help you if at all, and who seem to feel you are more of a hassle than you are worth. This is not the experience of all volunteers, but I know more than one volunteer who has fallen victim to this.

Not the experience you expected
This one hit several volunteers hard when they were told they were going to Ukraine. There was a crestfallen look as they read their acceptance letter. Either because they were hoping for a proper third world experience, or they felt like this would be "Peace Corps Lite", or they were sad that so much technology (cell phones and computers and tv, oh my!) would be available. They had this idea of a rural living situation and got a post-soviet country. Or they hoped they would be working with their hands and instead were teaching children English.

Nothing to show
This one is very specific to the ESL job. When you build wells, you have something to show for it. You can look on your work and be very satisfied. When you plant crops, you have something very tangible and empirical that you can look at and say "See, I'm making a difference." With education it's nearly impossible to do. You DON'T see the results right away. You end up NOT feeling like you've really done anything. There is no proof of your efforts.

Being ON all the time
Some Volunteers never fully relax. They have this "I'm representing the United States and all Americans" thing going on all the time. They don't ever yell or show they're upset. They don't feel comfortable saying NO when men in their town ask for their phone numbers. They don't ever really make friends because they are not really people--they're representations of people.



Loneliness
This one is huge. This one got me. I had a million volunteers around me and I felt utterly alone. I was tired of just being able to say "I have a family. I have a mother. I have a father." etc and not really connecting with anyone. Even though at times it felt like "Hey, people are people!" other times I would be shocked at how utterly different we were, and that made me feel very alone. A friend of mine had literally no one in her town who was even close to her age. When the young people would come into town they wanted nothing to do with her. They were small town people not used to changes in their lives and didn't know how to incorporate this new, strange gal.

Other
For me, the absolute hardest part of Peace Corps was the other volunteers. Before I offend everyone I have made friends with, let me clarify. I was in a country where volunteers had to be warned about alcohol abuse, as it was a very serious issue. Most volunteers were either fresh out of college or were seniors, and I fell in that awkward age of 30s. I absolutely hated the drinking parties and college frat feel that seemed to arise whenever volunteers got together. I absolutely made wonderful friends there, but I couldn't stand the party mentality. For me, it had no place in Peace Corps. I did have a reputation of being overly serious and caring too much about my job. In fact, every time I talked to volunteers I would talk about projects or ESL or teaching. I was there to do a job and was very very annoyed when volunteers would "cut loose." At one point I found myself at a party where the volunteers were SO LOUD that the Ukrainian police came, took everyone's passports, then agreed to accept a bribe to make this "go away." Which should be fine, except that a few volunteers were SO ANGRY about this CORRUPT SYSTEM and being loud and belligerent and being total JERKS. I have little patience for this. I wouldn't be surprised to know that many volunteers there didn't care for me, but honestly I don't care. I spent nearly all my time with my Ukrainian friends and hanging out with them.

These are what I feel were the worst things about Peace Corps where *I* was assigned. Your miles may vary, especially depending on the country you are assigned. For me, it was a really great experience, one I wouldn't change for the world. I was very lucky for a few reasons: I met some very outstanding Ukrainians who were absolutely ready to work, I met many Ukrainian women my age who spoke English, I felt comfortable being myself--I realized that I wasn't doing the US any favors by not being myself, I had a background in Education, so for me, having no "results" was absolutely no issue, I was properly utilized and appreciated at my site, and I personally loved all the down time.

I'm sure that these would be very different for people who are in Africa, but many will remain the same regardless. Just remember--the less developed the country, the more time you will have to spend on JUST LIVING. Getting water, getting and preparing food, etc.



Peace Corps is a very rewarding site, and truly the inflexible will not make it far. People drop out all the time. They realize it's just not for them for a multitude of reasons. But many times it's because they're absolutely inflexible. One girl quit after she was told where she'd be living. She went to visit and said "I'm done" because they couldn't accommodate her religion. Others would cry when they were told they'd be living in the East, or had to learn Russian or had to learn Ukrainian. It was as though they'd used up their whole notion of "flexibility" right before they landed in the country, then were absolutely rigid when they got there. Frankly, a lot of that made me absolutely sick to my stomach and made me fairly angry.

So my advice: put down on the application countries you DON'T want to go with. If you'd feel disappointed working in a 2nd world country, tell Peace Corps you don't want to go there. If you heard you'd be in Ukraine and that would bring tears to your eyes, tell PC you don't want to go there. You get my point of view. Your viewpoint will be colored when you get there, you'll be looking for reasons to hate it and back up your point of view, and you'll probably leave during training.

Good luck to you. I adored my time in Peace Corps, and hopefully this will help you in your journey. I am by no means an expert, I just try to be a bit observant and listen to what the volunteers I KNEW were complaining about. Just remember: BE FLEXIBLE! It will serve you well.

Goodbye, Ukraine

I am no longer a Peace Corps Volunteer. I am now a Returned Peace Corps Volunteer. Those four initials, RPCV, will follow me for the rest of my life. I will forever be an RPCV.

I finished my Peace Corps service in November, 2009. I haven't written about it because I felt like my emotions have been too close to the surface.

Leaving Peace Corps is not quite as simple as it should be. First, there is all the paperwork. They give you two papers that must be filled with signatures. These items range from: closing out your bank account, to getting your final dentist checkup, to receiving your plane ticket home. This is impossible to do in a single day. I started mine very early and thankfully finished very early.

I am happy to say that before I left I was able to go to Lviv, finish my host sister's wedding cloth, and go to her wedding.

Here is a picture of the finished wedding cloth. I had an incredible time finishing it. I had to teach myself hardanger (cut work) for the ends.



Here is a picture of me and my host sister at her wedding. Isn't she beautiful?



Okay, back to the leaving part:

Then there's the process of packing all your belongings. Difficult to do, but then begins the more difficult task of deciding what comes and what goes. You end up with so much STUFF. Thankfully there was a wonderful PCV who took ALL my clothes. You have to remember who gave you what so that you don't accidentally offer it back to the person. You lug the extra stuff to the Peace Corps office to leave for other PCVs. You say goodbye to your friends and colleagues. I ran around asking people about letters of recommendation.

Then it's time.

My final day was spent with my best friend in Ukraine, Maryna. My friend Ira and her helped me do the final packing and cleaning. The night before I'd gotten maybe 4 hours of sleep and I was exhausted. They let me sleep while they cleaned. It was amazing. We hung out, packed, weighed suitcases, repacked them, weighed them again, and finally finished.

Going home, I was traveling with my cat. We went from Kyiv to Moscow, Moscow to New York, and New York to Seattle. My first flight was at 8:30am, so I hired a friend to drive me, Maryna, and Miau Miau to the airport. He came at 3 or 3:30 am and picked us up. We got to the airport, and Maryna waited with me until it was time for my flight. It was really great being with someone special on my last day. We really tried to stay positive. I miss her!

Finally I got on the flight and sat with Miau Miau the whole way home. It was such a long ride. She was fairly scared, so she stayed in her carrier the whole way. She only drank a little bit when we got to New York, and she ate a TINY bit of salmon on the way to New York. Overall it was not so stressful. Traveling with a cat means you have to have the vet check her over, she has to have her vaccinations and have a kitty passport :) Getting her through customs was a breeze. Total cost for kitty: $150.

Since "graduating" I've been living at home. I moved into my parents' house, stayed in Colorado for a month with friends, visited my grandmother and dad's side of the family for a week or two, and have been doing my best to see all my friends. I haven't been working, just living off of parents and Peace Corps funds. I have been going through my belongings, repacking, reducing, recycling, and selling. It's really nice to get rid of things, and amazing how much STUFF I've managed to save up over the years. I am enjoying and also stressing out about this process.

While my Peace Corps adventures have come to a close, my life adventure has not. I am, after all, an ESL professional with a passion for living around the world. This blog has changed from "PC Ukraine" to "Where in the World?" It is no longer simply a chronicle of my journey through Peace Corps, but a journey throughout my career. As such, I changed the format of this blog just slightly, and I hope you will continue on with me. Thank you for all your support.

What the heck do you do in Peace Corps?

I teach at a Teacher Training Institute. This last year I’ve taught such classes as:

Creative Writing, Teaching Speaking, Teaching Reading, Teaching Writing, Teaching Listening, Teaching Country Studies, Teaching Young Learners, etc.

My students are all English Teachers from Ukraine. Every five years they are required to take recertification courses at my institute. The first time they go, they are there for one month. The next time they go, they go for three different weeks spread throughout the year.

So what do I do? These are teachers of English, with experience in teaching English. I do feel qualified to teach them because I have had methodological training in school. And, more importantly, I have life experience—a lifetime of classes in American schools, where the teaching is approached differently. I also know such songs as "She'll Be Comin' Round the Mountain" and "Goin' on a Bear Hunt" and "There Was an Old Lady" and "The Wheels on the Bus." So for me, my role here is to give a little bit of methodology, and give a lot of new ideas that they can adapt and use in their classrooms.

So here’s an example of a class I’ve taught and will teach again: Teaching Country Studies.

Teachers Will Be Able to:
Participate in experiential learning activities for teaching Country Studies to their Students
Modify and Adapt activities for their classrooms

Those are the basic TWBATs I have for all my classes. I’m a big fan of experiential learning, which means that you learn by experiencing it rather than just talking about it.
Warm up: Finish the sentence
Each Teacher gets a slip of paper. They will anonymously finish the sentence:
Is it true that Americans_______________________
Trainer will collect. Trainer will sort and read and answer at the end of the session.

For this class I try to give them a little information that they can’t get in the classroom, as well as a taste of several kinds of activities, so I set up three “booths” with samples of the activities. During my class they are not expected to finish all the activities, merely get a taste of them. I emphasize that so that they don’t get frustrated about not having enough time 

Station Activity 1: Map Work

ACTIVITY 1A: Spell and Find

Teachers are given their own un-labeled map of the US that they are to write on, a reference map labeled with all fifty states, a reference sheet of the fifty states and their capitals, and the following Scrabble Tiles:
A-2, C, D-2, E-2, G, H, I-2, L, M, N-3, O-2, P, R, S, T-2, U, V, W, Y

Teachers must:
a) form as many states’ names as possible using those tiles.
b) color in the state on HO1 (unlabeled map), using a blue highlighter

ACTIVITY 1B: Name that Shape

Teachers are given a labeled map of the United States, a reference sheet of the fifty states and their capitals, and shapes of unidentified states.

Teachers must
a) identify the states by shape
b) mark where the capital is on their map
c) write in the name of the capital.

Why did I pick these activities? For me, it’s just showing different ideas of things you can do with a map. Even more, it helps prevent training “answer robots,” students who simply look for the answer and repeat and cannot put together two pieces of information logically. It also uses different strengths: linguistic strengths (spelling words), as well as special intelligences (picture smarts).

ACTIVITY 2: Design a flag and quarter for Washington State

Teachers will design a flag and quarter for Washington State, using important symbols and information about Washington State.

Here, teachers are reading about Washington state, using art to show understanding, and putting together information. Again, moving away from being Answer Robots.

ACTIVITY 3: Seattle Festivals Logic Problem

Teachers are given a logic problem I created about four different festivals in Seattle: Gay Pride, Bumbershoot, Folklife, and The Freemont Solstice Festival. They are to fill in a chart telling which friend went to which festival, which month it was in, and what sort of festival it was.

Here, I’m using a logic problem to teach about the different festivals. The idea here is that they can put together information and have students read about it in creative ways. Again, using a different strength, this time logic and reasoning.

ACTIVITY 4: Jeopardy game

Now teachers play a small Jeopardy game based on information given in the class. This is not so they can play, but rather so they can learn HOW to play a Jeopardy game.

ACTIVITY 5: Is it true that Americans _________ followup

At this time I address all the questions that the Ukrainian teachers have put down about Americans. Most of the questions I get are based on food, personality, and work such as

Is it true that Americans have only one or two weeks of vacations?
Is it true that Americans don't like to speak about their problems (they do it with doctors or psychologists only)?
Is it true that Americans always smile?
Is it true that Americans eat fast food 3 times a day?

So you can see, when I’m teaching, I’m not simply teaching ABOUT America, I’m giving techniques for teaching about them—ones that many of them have never seen. And yet I’m still giving some extra information, such as: that handout on Washington State. And addressing common questions they usually have about Americans.

My job is tricky, because I’m not just teaching, but I’m teaching about teaching. It’s made it very interesting—not duplicating teaching techniques, how to give different information, how to collaborate, etc. I’d never done teacher training before, but I’m getting great experience doing it. And it does help that I do the same lessons again and again.

The final thing I do is that I make all my lesson plans and information available to all teachers, which is very time consuming. It’s one thing to make a lesson plan; quite another thing to write it in a presentable way for teachers taking your classes. I have to make the directions understandable to Ukrainian teachers, not just myself, so vague notes on how to do it are not acceptable, and neither is simply writing down “Do the Hokey Pokey”—because most Ukrainians have never played The Hokey Pokey and I need to write down directions for how to do it, since it’s not just for me. I’m also often giving lesson plans to teachers who have been doing this for 10-20 years, so I’d better have something great so they don’t feel like I’m wasting their time.

So that’s what I do for my Peace Corps “job.” I do teach less than most of the other volunteers, but as you can see, my time is really put into developing materials and presentation of said materials. There are more bits and pieces, but that’s my standard daily job. Hope you enjoyed it!

One year in Ukraine

Wow. It doesn’t seem like yesterday that I arrived, but it certainly doesn’t feel like it’s been a year.

October 1, 2007 I stepped off that plane into blistering hot heat. We were greeted by a sign in English saying “Welcome to Ukraine,” and we were greeted by friendly smiles from Peace Corps staff, friendly smiles that are still dear to my heart. It was unseasonably warm in Kyiv, and we were all dying while waiting on the bus. We were herded, eyes unseeing, ears unhearing, into our pre-training site. Everything was strange, the faces, the policies, the billboards. It was all novel—the Cyrillic signs, people speaking in an unfamiliar language, people selling things by the side of the road, the cars driving like they were in the Pole Position game, the layouts of the stores, the prices, the inability to communicate.

It was all novel because it was all new and interesting and WOW this was why we signed up for Peace Corps.

We were given our languages—I was given Russian, and some people rejoiced, while others complained. Our first day of language class—given the letters of our names and asked to make it into our names.

Д Ж У Л И Я

None familiar but that little Y, which wasn't a Y, but an OO. I couldn't spell my own name: Джулия. Overwhelming! Being taught to say “My name is” and ask “What is your name?” Running to the really cute security guard and asking him “Как вас завут?” KAK VAC ZAVOOT? Then giggling like crazy fangirls when he told us, then promptly forgetting because our brains short circuited at having spoken to a really good looking dude in a foreign language.

One year ago. Rumors of who was going where. Whispers of “So and so already knows about her family.” Talk of possibilities. I vaguely remember the presentation. I remember Vova’s funny talk about the Village with Town-like qualities, and Larissa’s talk of Chernigov with bellydancing. I remember being told I would be in Chernigov.

I remember how much luggage I had. WAY more than anyone in our group. A comical amount of luggage. I remember hauling it to the busses. I remember finally getting on our busses. I remember really really really having to pee and everyone filing into an LCF’s apartment to use the bathroom before heading to Chernigov. I wonder what the babushkas in the building thought—20 Americans stomping up the stairs and waiting in a line to go into this little apartment.

I remember getting to Chernigov. My host mother, Alla, was there. She was a large, stern-looking woman. I remember being intimidated and timid and so I stayed on the bus and helped people get their luggage. Finally got to her and felt embarrassed about all my luggage. Proudly said Меня завут Джулия MENYA ZAVOOT JULIA and her saying her name, then having literally nothing else to say other than hello. So I stayed silent. She seemed so serious, and I wondered what she thought of me. I wondered if she was happy to see me, because she didn’t smile. I wondered if she was irritated by my luggage, since we had to STUFF it into the taxi. I wondered if she was weirded out by this stranger living in her home who didn’t speak a lick of the language.


_{My host mother, Alla}

I remember the first meal. Some of the food was good, some was not so great, but there was too much of it. I remember feeling overwhelmed, and wanting to make a good impression, and forcing myself to overeat because I didn’t know how to say no politely. My host sister was shy, but she spoke English, which helped. Perhaps a bit too much. She was 17 and from the village, and only now do I believe I understand who she was in relation to my host mom—I think she was my host mom’s cousin’s daughter.

I remember doing charades to ask when to be woken up. I remember in the morning being walked to my class, which was very close. I remember being taught to say “I have a family. I have a mother. I have a father. I have a sister. Do you have a family?” I was introduced to Yulia, my host mother’s friend’s daughter. Yulia was my age and she couldn’t stop laughing at how ridiculous I sounded—and I did. “DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY?” sounds pretty funny, no matter how you say it. I remember my host mother asking me something, which sounded like “Do you need a magazine?” And I thought “I don’t need a magazine, I have one.” Later I realized she was asking if I needed to go to the store—the word “Magazine” means “Store” in Russian.

I remember enjoying language classes, and we had so many. I remember feeling frustrated and anxious and not making friends during training. I remember just feeling overwhelmed. I also remember the feelings of giving up near the end. Then came swearing in.

We met our counterparts, we met the US Ambassador.


_{My counterpart, Iryna}

We swore in. I was proud to be an American that day. Taking the oath that all of us take:

I, Julia Johansen, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the constitution of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same, that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion, and that I will well and faithfully discharge my duties in the Peace Corps of the United States of America, serving Ukraine to the best of my abilities and demonstrating the respect and consideration due its people. So help me God.

This past year has been packed.

I’ve made several lifelong friends—some best friends, both Ukrainian and American. I’ve come to have some favorite Ukrainian foods that I KNOW I will miss back in the US. I’ve learned to live and thrive within my community. I’ve learned that the more you know of a language the more you realize you don’t know. I’ve learned to speak Russian—enough to have conversations, but not enough to be able to tell my landlord properly that the pilot light on my kalonka keeps going out. I got a beautiful Ukrainian cat who is the perfect mixture of ornry and sweet. I have an apartment that I’m only ashamed to show people when it looks like a homeless person has been living here. I’ve settled into good routines. I filled out my first grant. I found great organizations and great people to work with. I’ve found what it is to be a Peace Corps Volunteer.

And you know, I’ve had it so much easier than many PCVs. So much so that I often hesitate to complain about having to take bucket baths in my modern bathroom, or that I have to walk through a small field of mud, or that my apartment feels cold. No one gossips about what I bought, or how much money I spend on shampoo. I, in general, have consistent hot water, I can use the water from my tap, and I even have water after midnight. I can throw my toilet paper in the toilet, and my toilet is in the same room as my bathtub. I have Internet in my apartment. My town sells pesto and hot sauce and bento boxes and bleu cheese.

And yet there is still a need. I am a Peace Corps Volunteer, and this has been one interesting year in my life.

Culture Shock

Your emotional reserves, which are what help you have that thick skin, are what help you not react to cultural moments. They are what you draw upon in order to be culturally appropriate, culturally sensitive, and that all-knowing, wise, open-minded American. They help you deal with people staring or people pointing to you, or a whole marshrutka full of people talking about the American and what do you think she's doing here and and she doesn't understand Russian (I DO!), etc. Not that that last thing happened recently.

The emotional reserves start to go away as you are bombarded by new culture, loss of freedom, loss of language, stress of language learning, not being able to talk to your best friend, not being able to eat food you love and are familiar with, being treated like you are three years old, being around Americans you may not like, getting trained in your job and having to do homework, having someone else tie your shoes for you (yes, this happened to me), being treated like a 3-year-old, having your personal space invaded, and your body space invaded.

Your emotional reserves can deal with any of those things, but the result of being bombarded by all these things all at once for an extended period of time drains them. You lose that thick skin. Things start to bother you that would ordinarily not bother you. You become a bit more emotionally frayed and you react more. Because those emotional reserves are tapped—they're too busy trying to deal with the big stuff that the little stuff seeps through.

I knew this would happen. During our training, they showed us a video of the negative things that could happen, specifically sexual harassment. A woman in the video told about how she was sexually harassed every day with all the cat calls and sexual comments tossed at her as she walked down the street every day. One gal in our group made the comment that was pretty much along the lines of: "She should be more culturally sensitive. That's just part of Latino culture, and she shouldn't apply American standards to their culture." Or something close to that. I remember thinking at the time that the girl in our training girl had no idea what she was talking about, because something happening day after day has *got* to wear at you.

It's like someone touching you. That's fine. But now imagine them touching you in the same spot again and again and again. Where you could first shrug it off, now it's a point of contention and irritation and you JUST WANT THEM TO STOP. I knew this at the beginning of training.

And yet I was completely shocked when culture shock hit me. I remember it so clearly. A girl in my language lesson snapped at me. It was Halloween, only 31 days after getting into Ukraine. Only 31 days of Peace Corps training. Only 31 days of using up those emotional reserves. The comment ate at me all day. It made me angry and sick and more angry. For some reason, around 11pm, I just started bawling. I tried to call my best friend in America, but my phone had no money on it, which made me cry harder, and I had no idea why, which made me cry even harder. And not some stoic lady-like cry—this was an "8-year-old-who-just-got-spanked-and-now-can't-go-to-the-sleepover cry. There was nothing I could put my finger on--not any one thing, except for some stupid little comment, and I sure as hell knew one small comment didn't cause this reaction.

I probably sobbed for three hours that night. It really sucked. My own emotional reaction shocked me--I haven't bawled that hard in a while--I'm 32 and kinda thought I was past that.

Things that really helped me: Peace Corps's booklet called "A Few Minor Adjustments," which addresses culture shock. It really helped. REALLY. Also, making friends that I really liked and who I could call and talk to, because previously I had felt very alone being amongst so many Americans and not really having a close friend.

It hit me that hard again, about 6 months in country. It was late at night and I started to just feel SO ALONE. I went to the disco, hoping that just being around people would make me feel better, but it made me feel more alone, and I called America, sobbing at the disco. I just couldn't stop crying. It sucked.

I hate being shocked at my own emotional reactions. I hate when they take me unawares. I was shocked at myself the first time I screamed at my host sister (17 year olds!!!). I was shocked at myself when I got angry at every little thing. I was shocked at myself by how dismayed I was at having fried eggs with TOO MUCH OIL. And yet, when those reserves are drained, you are the emotional equivalent of a car without shocks on a rocky road.

I consider myself lucky--two emotional breakdowns in 11 months. For six months it's been smooth sailing, and I'm in a position to have built up those emotional reserves. I have autonomy, I have friends, I have people close to me, I can communicate, I have internet (woo hoo!). But I also know it's likely that I'll have at least one or two more of these moments.

The following is a metaphor I wrote about culture shock:



I'd wanted to swim in the ocean for about 10 years. More precisely, I wanted to be flown in a helicopter out in the middle of the ocean, be dropped out far enough that I couldn't see the land, then I wanted to swim to shore.

I'd read all the books about what to do, what to take, and how to do it. I had my shark repellent, my space sticks energy sticks, and even a flare for if it got really bad. Gearing up for this moment, I practiced every day in the swimming pool, and I was totally pumped. I'd even read first-hand accounts from people who had done precisely this same thing. I even knew what emotions I would likely be feeling and how to deal with them.

I was prepared. Everything was ready. I was ready. Completely.

They flew me in a helicopter, told me exactly what to do if I needed help, then I made the leap into that huge ocean. I watched the helicopter fly away, and I started to swim. I was feeling strong and awesome. Everything was going according to plan.

Then I started to get a little tired, and I felt something bump my foot. The smell of the salt water was getting to me, and I was starting to get a sunburn. I realized that as much as I had prepared, NOTHING could have prepared me for that feeling of being in the middle of the ocean all alone and not being able to see shore. I started to feel overwhelmed by all the water around me and how alone I felt, but I pushed it off, knowing I couldn't feel this way because I had prepared. But what I hadn't prepared for was my very own emotional reaction to everything. As much as my brain was ready, my emotions weren't, and after much pushing down, the emotions overwhelmed me.

It finally passed and I pressed on. The dream and the realization of that dream driving me further. Most of the time I'm fine and it's under control, but every now and then, the vastness of the sea gets to me.

10.12.07 I'm culturally sensitive and appropriate!

You have no idea how relieved I am to know that the posts I'd bookmarked for public entry in my other blog were approved! The director even remarked that my writing was very interesting!

Trying to talk about differences without sounding like you are making judgments is more difficult than you would think. Take the salo. It's literally a slice of pig fat you eat on bread. When you describe it, what words would you use? Whatever you thought about it, however much you are turning up your face at it right now, be aware it is "Ukrainian Narcotic." They love it and can't get enough of it. I tried it and didn't think it was bad.

Thankfully I've had the experiences of being an ESL teacher, and I've had the opposite experience: telling students to try something and they turn their face up at it. They judge it before they try it, they refuse to try it, they make faces. And here I am telling them about a wonderful thing! I wonder how they describe what I was talking about.

More about Ukraine!

First thing is first: When you enter the home, TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES! Really. This means always wearing your best socks. Unless you're in school, you will constantly be taking your shoes off. And since you wash your socks and undies by hand, make sure you don't get white. Nothing says "gross!" like dingy white (now grey) socks. Second: WASH YOUR HANDS! My host mom is constantly motioning for me to wash my hands. Ha ha! I've beat her at her own game and so far have had my hands washed by the time she's said it to me. Thirdly: if you're visiting, BRING A GIFT! Btw, it's okay to leave the price tag on here! I was giving my host mom a small dessert and, while walking, I was starting to tear off the price tag and my host sister looked at me strange and said "what are you doing?" Well, duh! It's rude to give a gift with the price tag on. Not here. In the US I've received gifts with the tags on and the person noticed, grabbed it out of my hand after I'd seen the price, pulled off the price tag and handed it back to me. Okay, to be fair, I've done that as well. Here, apparently not a big deal. Oh, and lastly: remember that if there's a trash can in the bathroom, put your used paper in there. I've probably mentioned it a few times already and will probably mention it a few times more, but it would be really embarrassing to forget and have the toilet back up and have someone talking in loud Ukrainian or Russian about your bathroom business. I'm not speaking from experience. I swear. Really.

Today: Today was a great day. I went to bed WAAAY too late last night. I was writing a huge long email to friends and had to read a lot of pages for my homework. I woke up in the middle of the night because my door was squeaking open. I swear I would kill for some beeswax and WD40. Really. Okay, not really. So I got up and threw a sock over the top of the door and it shut tight. Ah. My host mom, in the morning after I pantomimed the squeaky door (by the way I will TOTALLY PWN AT TIME'S UP when I finish my two year stint here), she said "JULIA" and walked me into my room and locked the door from the inside. Okay okay, but I only like to lock my door if I really need people to stay out. Is that strange? So I've now sacrificed a nowgrey sock to the door gods.

Breakfast was big, as usual. And dinner-like, as usual. I don't think most cultures have such clearly defined parameters for "breakfast food" as in the United States. Really. Don't believe me? Try serving cold cereal to your guests for dinner. Or pancakes and eggs and sausage for lunch. From what I've seen, most cultures don't delineate specifically "breakfast food." Of course I come from the one culture that does, and I wonder if I'll ever get used to it after 30 years of specific breakfast foods.

After breakfast, on to language. Yesterday we started learning how to use the present tense! Hooray! (I'm still hung up on wanting past tense!) So now instead of "Julia to wash" and pointing at the dishes, I can say "I wash" and point at the dishes. Rules! Also I can say "I study Russian!" and "I speak little Russian" (Ya gavaryou tchoot-tchoot Pa-Russky). I feel like a pro. And during language class I was able to match all the correct endings with the correct subjects. SCORE!

Today we started our unit on food. We activated prior knowledge and named all the foods we could. We got a lot, actually! We also got a lot of homework! Yai yai! After our lesson I had a tutoring session. I asked about some words. I'm such a language teacher--I'm constantly saying "that ending means that word is an adjective, right?" and things to that effect. For me, knowledge of the language is as important as learning phrases. Well, for my longer term goal. Of course I want to know how to say things like "Repeat please", but I do want to understand the cogs and inner workings of a language as well--it's the language teacher in me. I got a Russian magazine called "Good advice". My teacher helped me read through part of it. We looked at the recipe section and through the index. I'm really excited about the words I can recognize. Even later today when I heard people speaking out of context and I was able to connect that with meaning, it was so exciting!

After the lesson I made my way to the bazaar. I found my host mom's booth--she sells shirts and jackets, and I took oodles of pictures of the "Ukrainski fashion" for my "Amerikanski padrooga". I was able to ask them if I could take pictures ("Harasho?" and pointing at the camera) and able to indicate that in the US we don't bling out our jeans and don't usually wear runway model boots. So yeah, most of my pictures from the bazaar are of jeans butts (they were laid out and folded, not on people!) and boots. I got some great pictures of the bazaar as well--some booths and a great shot of the church overlooking the bazaar.

I also relearned the sneaky way of taking pictures. Looking like you're "Just holding" the camera down by your waist, but you're serruptitiously snapping pictures with your thumb. It's not that I'm trying to be all Cloak and Dagger, but people look at you strangely enough just because you're American, so having them not stare MORE is a good thing.

In the center I found a woman selling magazines outside. I bought a Russian Cosmo and told her I speak a little Russian and that I'm studying Russian. I saw she had a Harry Potter and was going to buy it but she said no and showed me that it was in Ukrainian! Good save!

I found a bookstore and blew my personal wad on a bigger Russian/English dictionary and a Russian Harry Potter. 45G!!! Wow. That's not a lot US, but it's a LOT here. But it's the one Russian book I really wanted to buy. My Russian Cosmo, Good Advice, Fantastic Four comic, and my Harry Potter are really all the Russian reading materials I need.

After the bookstore I went into the 2 Geese cafe. I bought some food and sat and internetted for over an hour. Did I mention I love the internet? I love WiFi. I like internet cafes, but I LOVE being able to use MY computer with its English default language that I can read all the warnings and 404 pages and understand all the menus. I really do.

I bought a Life :) card, but apparently it doesn't work! Argh. My host sister wants to go to the center with me tomorrow to talk to the boy who sold it to me. Okay okay. She was looking through my Cosmo and found a sample of this "untinted" foundation. Apparently "untinted" in Russia means you have quite the tan. After she smeared it on my face I smeared it on hers. It was very girlie. I'm having a lot of fun bonding with her. Apparently I translate the same to teenagers. All my teenage "friends" regardless of country end up mock punching me. What's up with that? It's fun and cute.

It was really nice to be able to talk to my host mom a little. I can REALLY see an improvement i my Russian. The first day I wasn't able to say ANYTHING to her, and today I was able to ask her if we were going to make borsch on Sunday (okay, I said "tomorrow tomorrow" for "the day after tomorrow", but still--communication!). I was also able to say "I wash" when she took my dish. hooray me!

Tomorrow is Chirnihiv's 75th birthday of being made the capital of this oblast. There are going to be lots of festivities in town. I'm pretty excited about it. It should be lots of fun.

10.06.07

I'm trying very hard to keep up with my journaling. It's Sunday night and I'm writing Saturday's entry. Not too bad. So far I've only gone a full day without writing.

We were given a task to complete yesterday. We had to go on our own to School Number 1 by 8:30. I totally had it planned out and was going to walk in the morning, but my host dad insisted on going with me. First I thought he just wanted to leave at the same time and he was on his way to work, but nope, he totally went with me. That was cool, though, because I already knew how to get there, so it just reconfirmed what I already knew.

Met everyone at 8:30am and started our Technical Training at 9am. We learned about what we're going to be doing in and for Ukraine.

As a teacher trainer, these will be my tasks:

--travel to schools outside the Oblast Center in order to conduct techer-training events.
--Conduct one day teaching seminars at Institute on English Language and on active teaching using communicative TEFL methods.
--Development of scopel sequence of teacher recertification seminars.
--Continue professional development and support of PC secondary school TEFL volunteers; peer technical support during site visits.
--Organizing/facilitating summer TEFL camps for teachers/students
--Participating in the development of English Olympiad materials
--Organization and facilitation of English clubs for teachers
--Development of teaching materials (visuals, cards, audio, video materials)
--Grading
--Classroom management
--Teaching in Ukrainian Schools
--Secondary Community projects

Our ultimate goals will be to:
--Work effectively within a Ukrainian educational environment demonstrating ability to implement current teaching methodoogies and techniques
--Use teaching skills to positively influence educational community development

During these three months we will end up doing about 10 lesson plans, teaching about 10 classes, and additionally teach three classes to our peers. I'm signed up to teach Lesson Planning, Extra Curricular Activities, and PDM intro (I have no clue what that is). We also have 4-5 hours of language training five days a week and homework every day (which I love! seriously!). It's pretty intense--like being back in school.

While we were in our lesson, I noticed my socks were getting wet. This is a "slipper society". Because it is so muddy during the wet times and the streets are not pristinely paved, your shoes get dirty and so every house you immediately take off your shoes. I thought I had spilled my water, so I looked around and noticed that the floor was REALLY wet. I looked behind my chair and between the carpets I saw a river of water in the hallway. Apparently this is one of the negatives of having a first floor apartment in Ukraine--when people flush toilet paper it can back up the systems, and it screws over the people in the lower floors. So her plumbing was backed up and we had to relocate.

After all our tech training we had a cross cultural breakdown. We have an hour each week to chat with the LCFs--Language/Culture Facilitators. We talk about what's happened in the last week, we ask questions, and they try to explain. Having someone break down culture is awesome. Being able to ask questions without offending is really great. We covered bathroom etiquette, housekeeping, food, etc. A few things that popped out were: apparently Americans drink a LOT of water. One of the ladies said that Americans laugh at Ukrainians for not drinking any water and Ukrainians laugh at Americans for drinking too much water. Their philosophy is that they get enough liquids from their soups (because borsch is practically manditory every day!) and so they don't drink water during meals at all. Another thing they said was that my earrings would have to go. They didn't exactly say that, but really, I have to take out my earrings. Big sigh. No zero gauge stretching these next two years. They also said that after 3 days someone staying in their house becomes family or "that weird person living in the house." heh. One way to distinguish between guest and "family" is--who does the guest's dishes? If the family insists on doing the guest's dishes, then the person is a guest. If they let the person do their own dishes, that person is family. Needless to say, that night I insisted on doing my own dishes.

After all that, my language group decided to meet at 3pm for a picnic with our families. There were about 15 there: T&M and their host mom and host brother, E with her host mom and host sister, Cindy with her host mom and host brother, me and my host mom and Larissa, our language teacher. E, Cindy and I all brought desserts. We walked for about half an hour through the forest and finally came to this really great area with fires burning. These two guys had left a fire burning unattended, but it was set up okay--on vodka bottles. What a great use of glass! The moms laid out the tablecloth and food and we all hung out and ate and toasted and drank. It was finally my turn. After all the "eat eat eat eat eat"s from host moms, I pointed to our desserts and said to the host moms "eat eat eat eat" (pronounced "yest"). ha ha ha It was really funny and they all laughed.

After food we played some games to help with our Russian. We had to stand in a circle and introduce the person to our left, us, and the person to our right, then the person to our right would introduce us, then themself, then the person to their right, etc. We also were randomly given names, we had to find the people and ask where they were from, what their hobbies were, and what their occupation was. I've decided that kids are a lot of fun to learn language with, because somehow they have infinite patience, can repeat the same thing over and over, and aren't hung up on understanding every word you're saying if you slip into English.

After all the games, we walked home. I'm starting to figure out Chirnihiv. There's basically one main street and a few minor streets, then some footpaths. It makes it easier to navigate, and I'm connecting dots, as it were.

When we got home I did some homework--copying some of the verbs I'm learning into my notebook, recopying the notes I took in class, then I about split my head open with my yawning. I was EXHAUSTED. I went into the bedroom and made the bed, then laid down and started reading my homework. When I finished that I was plumb tuckered out and I went to sleep at the crazy hour of 8pm. All the insomnia was finally catching up with me and it kicked my butt.

10.05.07 Same as it ever was

Am awake with insomnia. Apparently my body isn't doing as well with the 10 hour time difference as I thought. While it's 2am and change here, it's 4pm and change there. I'm pleased to report that your tomorrow is looking good. Except for the first night when I was EXHAUSTED, I haven't yet slept an entire night through. This is the third day waking up at 4am, 3am, 2am.

Today was a good day! Let me break it down thematically

Food: Breakfast was marvelous. The food I've eaten has been very rich, and while it is extremely tasty, I'm a little worried that I won't be able to leave at the end of two years because I will be too big to fit on the plane. I've had so many bready-foods. This morning it was delicious pancake rolls--they were about the size of a deck of cards, they were sweet like pancake batter, and perfectly cooked to a slight crispy on the outside and warm and doughy on the inside. I put applesauce on mine and was immediately chided by my Mama. (It was great, though!). I also had a savory pancake type dish, which was flatter and had less sweet and had bell peppers in them. First I thought they were apples, so the savory flavor surprised me. So this morning--Mama has 4 of the pancake rolls for me, a large savory pancake dish, and sweet chai (tea). You see my dilemma! Delicious food = more of me to love, no delicious food = no delicious food. But, we were running late, so this is also the first time Mama didn't continue to tell me Eat Eat Eat Eat in Russian. For dinner I had BORSCH!!! It was seriously the MOST DELICIOUS THING EVER. Holy crap it was so good. Mama Ala said she would teach me on Sunday. I also had applesauce filled blintzes. YUM!

Going places: This morning we all met at the center of town (McDonalds--there's only one here) and took another bus to the consolate building (I think that's what it was). We got back to our language teacher's apartment without her help! Hooray!

Language: I was able to ask for and buy sugar at the store! Hooray! Also, feel like I'm keeping on pace with the class. I do have hours of studying ahead of me, but that's how I keep on pace.

Relationships: I feel like I'm really bonding with Cindy. We have things in common, we have fun together, it's just good. I also bonded with my host mom's granddaughter. She helped me with learning my numbers. It's crazy to me how patient 5 year olds can be sometimes, and she has so much more of the language than I do. So seriously, we spent a good 30-45 minutes doing numbers. She's also started hugging me a lot. I'm not used to kids hugging me, and it's strangely nice!

Daily life: I successfully washed my own delicates today. My host family has a washing machine, but it's only for pants/sweaters, etc. Any smaller items (bras, undies and socks) get washed by hand, and so I washed my first "load" by hand today. The 5 year old kept me company and I was trying to teach her "Row Row Row your boat. I'm also starting to get into a routine, which I love. I love routines. Wake up, take off the pillows, fold the blanket, fold the sheets. Put pillows, blanket and sheets in the cabinet. Put decorative pillows back on the bed. Get dressed, eat, fix face (I'm actually trying to do makeup every day. In Ukraine it's things like that that show people you care. Seriously.), take vitamins, leave.

And of course: a new simcard! I can finally send and recieve messages! The nice thing is that receiving phone calls is FREE! Woot!

But, of course these accomplishments cannot come without trials. Here were my trials for the day:

Food: I am a big girl! It's hard not to turn down delicious food. In addition to feeling like I'm putting someone out by not eating their food, I love delicious food! I did manage to say "Excellent but diet!" and I scraped off the loads of sour cream she poured over the blintzes. I am totally willing to try everything, but it's hard when you don't know how to say things like "I did enjoy that slice of pork fat on my bread, but it's not something I can eat everyday."

Language: I don't think I have ever really had a full appreciation for how frustrating it is not to be able to express yourself. I'm so into clear communication and emotional conversation and I'm reduced to nouns and pantomimes. I can't say "Today I learned..." I have to just show them the pages from class. I can't say "I want to take a shower first and then eat" I have to say "doosh" (Russian for "bath") and hold up one finger and say "Yest" (Russian for "to eat") and hold up 2 fingers. Having a master's degree and not even being able to say "It's really beautiful here and I really appreciate how much work you've done for me to be here" instead I say "Spaceeba" (thank you) and "harasho" (good) a lot. It's like being a gymnast and being paralyzed from the waist down. You, of course, rejoice that you can move your big toe, but on some level you think "it's just a toe!!!"

Dope moments: I dropped money for a new phone and sim card. I'm an IDIOT--I had a triband phone and was completely caught up in the heat of the moment and spent over half my cash on a new phone. It was the cheapest and I REALLY REALLY hope that one of the other volunteers will take it off my hands. On the up side, my cell phone works now!

Being an addict is hard! Thankfully my addiction is to technology and internet and the only real physical hardness I have to worry about is actually physically bonding with my couch. The only true benefit an addict like me would have in going to a mud hut in Africa (most people's first thought about Peace Corps) is that the technology just isn't there in the villages. It's not even an option. Here, however, in my building I feel like I have all the cigarettes I want but no lighter. That's right--wireless network, I can connect, but CAN'T GET ON THE INTERNET. The times I have been able to get online have been a 5 pack a day smoker's equivalent of getting a few drags in while someone is watching you. A few minutes here, a few minutes there, the class is waiting, the person is waiting. I'm looking forward to Sunday when I can relax on the internet. heh.

The plusses really do outweigh any minuses which come from not being able to speak a language and not really knowing a culture. I love it here. I have wanted to be in a situation where I'm learning a new language in a structured setting for several hours a day, and in this case my expectations were far exceeded--only five people in my language class! AND, after the 3 month language training period I can have a personal tutor. My entire two years in Peace Corps! That absolutely amazes me.

Peace Corps Policies

Today was medical and I had to get a series of immunizations. Now I feel like I was punched in the arm and it makes blogging difficult. Do you see what I deal with to get you the news? Pushing through the pain.

Blogging policies are that if someone posts anything publicly that they must be reviewed by a Peace Corps person to make sure they are culturally sensitive. This makes total sense, but since I am a very prolific blogger, it means blogging very differently, which means that for the most part most of my posts here will be friends only and not for public consumption. Anything posted publically will have been reviewed and okayed for publication. Really and truly the only reason for the friends only will be because I like the instant gratification of posting, not because I have a plan to write terrible things about Ukraine.

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It's like you're 5. I am going to be writing about my successes. Small things are really what get you through the day and through two years and being able to celebrate them with people is important. I plan to post daily/weekly/monthly successes and please, cheer with me!

My success: I was able to ask for my room key in Ukrainian and be understood! "Trista pedisyat david" means that my 359 room key is handed to me.

We were given our assignments today, and I am so happy with my results. I am learning Russian and I'm going to a big city: Chernihiv. There are a total of five people, including me, in our cluster and for the next 12 weeks we'll be learning Russian together for 4-5 hours per day.

My first Russian lesson! I learned how to say "My name is...", ask someone else's name, and say "pleased to meet you." We also learned to say "I want/I don't want..." and "Where..." (they taught me to say "where internet?" so I should be set!)

After class we went to a Ukrainian past and history and I don't think I realized how tired I was until I opened my eyes at the end and had a crick in my neck and the lecture was over. We then ate a wonderful food. One of the volunteers told me what it was, but I can't remember the name. It was rice and meat wrapped in a thin dough with a thin sauce over it. It was so delicious! Along with that we had cucumbers and tomatoes and bell peppers. I love their cucumbers so much!

The city I'm going to is Chernihiv, and it's the capital of the oblast with the same name. An oblast is basically the Ukrainian equivalent of a state. The city I'm in is huge and has several universities and museums and ballet and ballroom dancing. I'm crossing my fingers that they have swing dancing!

So I made up my Russian flashcards and am going to go play some games with my clustermates. I'm very excited and can't wait to learn more!

10.01.07 First Impressions

So I spent Saturday night packing until 3:30am. We had to be downstairs at 8am with our luggage, and I didn't totally finish packing things up until 7:50am. Thankfully I made it down to the lobby in time. Thankfully also, one of my group members only had one check in baggage, so she let me "use" her and she offered to check in one of my bags. Thank you, Kelly!

Went out to breakfast with Emily, my roommate. Well, we searched. We did stop in at Walgreens to pick up some shoe insoles for me, since I apparently ate through my old ones. Got some snackies for the road as well.

On the way back to the hotel we passed a vendor. Score! I ordered a breakfast sandwich and a kielbasa. I didn't plan to eat them all, and in fact, gave half of my breakfast to another volunteer. The vendor's name was Muhammad. Very nice man and I think he probably undercharged us.

We got on the bus and headed for the airport--JFK in NYC. It was my first trip to NY and I got a bunch of pictures from the bus. My first time seeing the Statue of Liberty! MFI (my first impression) of the Statue of Liberty: It's VERY green! Also it must be really cool to be able to see that daily, the way in Seattle we see Mt. Rainier or the Space Needle daily. Something touristy for tourists, but an integral part of daily life for residents.

MFI of NY: The apartments are JUST like the Cosby show! Shoved up against one another, different colors, yards pressed up and gardens in the back. I think it would really create a cool sense of community. Also, I didn't realize people actually play handball! ha ha. I felt like I was watching a movie.

We got to the airport and it was a fiasco. We were split into groups of about six, complete with a group leader. My group got split up and Kelly and I were the last two to catch up. Got in the most massive line. Thankfully there was beautiful eye candy and German arm porn! This guy had the greatest arms and no sleeves. I had a little line crush going on!

At the front of the line the woman made me check in my carry on. GRRR!! $105 later and three trips back and forth and I finally have my boarding pass. Another line. Take off shoes, coats, belt, pull out laptop, oops, left a coke in there, drink it quickly, walk through metal detector, oops, left on my belt, finally success. Redress and repack and on my way.

Flying from New York to Frankfurt takes a long time. It takes several conversations, a book, naps, stretches, and even then you've still got a few hours left! My seat mate was Keith and we chatted about movies and tv shows and books. He is a big heavy metal fan and we had fun talking about everything. I was wearing long johns under my pants, and where I was sitting didn't get much air. I was so uncomfortable and sweating so much that I got up and changed out of them. I finally got a little sleep, but spent most of that time reading someone else's copy of Stardust.

Touchdown in Frankfurt! All the pilots threw down the football and did a dance. We got there late, but thankfully in plenty of time for the plane trip to Kyiv. MFI of Frankfurt: The men are delicious. I went to McDonalds in the airport (fast familiar food), and holy cow they have McRib! I got that, a coke, and a box of water. Seriously--a box of water. $9 and went back down and waited. We boarded and saw the most awesome posters.

The posters were four pictures, two repeated. There was a picture of Mars by a picture of the moon by the same picture of the moon by the same picture of Mars. The first said Madness, the second Romance, the third Romance, the fourth Madness. One had a woman's heel and a jalapeno with the captions: pain pleasure pleasure pain. Tattoos and henna: traditional trendy trendy traditional. They were amazing.

MFI of Ukraine: WOW! You could immediately tell the women residents by their SUPER pointy high heeled shoes. The woman who checked me in looked like a model--smoothed back hair with a rhinestone headband, glitter eyeshadow, mascara. Gorgeous.

The Ukrainian airport had a Heinekin machine instead of a Coke machine! Seriously! We got outside and it was SO HOT! We were greeted by Peace Corps people and they were so friendly and helped us out to our bus. We walked up these TALL stairs and onto a burning hot bus, which thankfully had curtains. I sat next to one of my favorite people: Anastacia. We were given instructions and walk around money and headed over to the compound for our training.

We were given a room with a roommate. My roomate is another teacher trainer. Very nice person and although we have little in common we're getting along really well. We had a Ukrainian greeting ceremony and dinner, a small orientation ceremony then went to bed.

MFI of our rooms: very practical. Small beds, very warm wool blankets, tiny bathroom. Everything in the bathroom is very tall. The toilet paper was unexpected--it is unbleached brown paper with no roll. It's just rolled up but no cardboard tube through it. The shower is very small and missing a small part of the door. I took a shower and it, apparently, takes a dexterity check of 12 to successfully take a shower. I think I rolled an 11.

Taking a shower in this building takes a few steps. Because the room is very small, you have to decide where to undress because there's not really enough room to do it in the bathroom. First step complete. Then the question is: where do you put the shampoo/soap. I ended up putting them on the sink ledge. Check. The third involves a combination of soaping up while balancing the hand held shower nozzle on the water control, then putting the soap down and grabbing the shower and turning it back on and rinsing off. I think half my water got on the floor and I completely blame my lack of dexterity.

Dinner consisted of a sort of chicken omelete--a thin piece of chicken cooked in an egg. It was very tasty. We also had cucumbers and tomatoes and a carrot/apple/strawberry juice.

I relaxed in the room and watched a few episodes of Weeds until I was falling asleep too much to follow the episode and I went to sleep.

I'm definitely going to Ukraine!

I'm so excited about this! I found out today that my passport came through! I'm so glad I sent them. The guy sounded doubtful, but I said "Let's send them anyway and see what happens." And it did!

Up until this point I'd been very ambivalent--maybe I was going, maybe I wasn't. It was hard to get too geared up for things because I wasn't sure if I was going or not. Now I know I am. And now I'm feeling a bit of crunch time panic! Ack!

Behind on paperwork

I am so behind. I was supposed to turn in my Pre-Service TEFL test report by August 31, my learning style by August 30, and my passport papers by, oh, five years ago (it feels like).

I sent the two emailable reports tonight, and I am going to overnight the passport papers tomorrow.

There is a small chance I could not go this September if they are unable to process my paperwork. This would mean I'd be going later. *sigh*

All the moving pushed these deadlines to the back of my thoughts, and with the holiday weekend it didn't make it any easier.

Wish me luck.

My Peace Corps essay

I wrote this as one of my initial Peace Corps essays about my mission statement. There are some grammar mistakes (whoops!), but overall it really captured my enthusiasm and spirit as well as professionalism. Enjoy!

9/11/12 Updated to add: 
Yes, I did get into Peace Corps. I served in Ukraine from 2007-2009. 
 Most questions I get are asking for advice on how to get into Peace Corps. I wrote a new blog post about that here: 
Questions I've Received about my Peace Corps Essay
Please note that most of the questions you have will likely be answered there - I don't have much in the way of any more advice about applying, but I do have advice about the Peace Corps experience here:
Advice about Peace Corps from an RPCV  

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Tonight was one of the best nights of my life, and it was exactly the reason I went into teaching ESL. I was invited to dinner by one of my former students. I went expecting a sit down dinner, with maybe four or five people, perhaps six, and instead was treated to an awesome Saudi Arabian dining experience. We had tons of amazing food and engaging conversations. Because we were outside of the classroom it gave us an opportunity to relate as people in an informal setting. It was a chance for them to show off parts of their culture they are proudest of to one of their teachers. I got to see a slice of Saudi culture that I would not have otherwise.

I have a true sense of wanderlust. No way would I ever be content staying in the same city, the same state, or even the same country while the world was out there to explore. I know in my heart that just being a tourist would never give me the satisfaction of really being a part of a culture. I am not content with the experience-equivalent of a fast food restaurant; I want to savor my experiences. When I first heard about the Peace Corps years ago, I knew it was exactly what I was looking for. The exchange of culture and ideas is what really breaks down prejudices. Until I started teaching ESL I was not aware of how many prejudices I had, and I am so grateful every day to break down my own stereotypes and the students’ as well. I want to know people outside of what the media tells me, not as a tourist, but as an honored guest. People like me, and organizations like the Peace Corps help dispel myths perpetrated by media and tourists. The Peace Corps would give me the chance to experience a people in a way that I would not normally get to and would provide a profound life experience—there is something important that happens during a volunteer experience, doing something out of love rather than out of need for money.

I have wanted to teach ESL for about as long as I have wanted to join the Peace Corps, and the reason why I have not tried to do either until now is that I wanted to do them right. They are so important to me that I wanted to make sure I had all the qualifications, all the degrees, all the preparation out of the way. At this point I have finished my Master’s degree, and am completely qualified to teach anywhere in the world, and I am pausing in embarking on my career for the chance to join the Peace Corps, because I want to start my career by doing something important and significant and not based on how much money I can make. Sure, money is important, but right now for me, the experience is more important, and I would be honored and excited to be accepted into the Peace Corps.

Welcome

Welcome to my adventure. Joining the Peace Corps has been a dream of mine for well over 10 years. It's finally coming true. I ship out on 9/28, headed for Philadelphia, and then off to the Ukraine on 10/01/07 until 12/21/09.

I'm in group 33 (if that means anything to you), and I'll be doing Teacher Training. From what I've determined, people with Bachelor's degrees teach EFL, and people with Master's degrees teach English teachers. Hmmmm. Interesting.

Right now I'm gearing up for going. I'm moving out of my apartment and in with my parents for a month. From there I'll be doing my Ukraine packing. Right now it's just put things in boxes and sort it out later. I'm also realizing I have TOO MUCH STUFF!!! heh I have to do some important paperwork this weekend--like send off for my passport, finish my resume, send in my statement.

One more week left of work (well, I told them I 'd help out for three days after that). Then PACK PACK PACK.

Again, welcome. This blog will ONLY be updated with items pertinent to Ukraine and the Peace Corps, so posting here will be minimal until the end of September.