I didn't realize how necessary this was. Mixing it up a little. Training is strange--you are in this small little bubble, you are learning language, you see the same people every day all day, you just need a change of pace. You need to see the friends you left at Orientation, you just need a break. Plus, you get to know where you'll be, and that's really exciting, or nerve wracking, depending on how you look at it.
Site placement is this big "hush hush" event. They keep it "top secret" until we all get together and they reveal it in front of everyone. That said, a handful of people will always know ahead of time--Peace Corps tells current volunteers who is coming to their areas, they have it in their office, etc. Some people are very upset that others know their sites, others, like me, don't care.
So yesterday I got up really early to go over to McDonalds, since that's where the marshrootka to Kyiv is. I was waiting for my friend--we were going to go together, and we were supposed to meet at 8. Well, in the hustle and bustle of packing excitement, host mom excitement, I ended up somehow leaving my house at 7am! I got there 45 minutes early. And waited in the freezing cold. yep, it was a great morning. Did I mention that there was about 4 or 5 inches of snow on the ground? Yeah.
He arrives at 8, as planned, and a few other volunteers came as well. We grabbed some snacks for the road and got in to the marshrootka. They told us to pack lightly, since we would be gone for 8 days and had to transport our own stuff. I was worried about my one bag + laptop bag + plastic bag. I stopped worrying when one volunteer showed up with a suitcase big enough to smuggle a small family across the border. We were all chatting and having fun, then settled in for the trip. Which involves being antisocial and listening to music. For me, it usually involves sleep.
I honestly can't remember if I slept. Yesterday feels a bit blurry. I remember looking at the scenery. Ukraine is full of amazingly bright colors. Blues and greens, reds and oranges. It's really pretty when all the fences are lined up and there is a parade of bright colors that passes you. It's a nice contrast to the snow everywhere. So maybe I slept. Probably I slept. But I don't remember.
We get to Kyiv and get on the metro and take it over to our stop, then transfer to another marshrootka. We end up at our little "soviet era" hotel. A couple of volunteers are on one of the balconies and we all shout greetings to one another. Several volunteers are down in the lobby, along with mail (I had no idea how much it FEELS like mail = love, but it does!), and check in. We get to choose our own roommates, but there are three to a room. I check in and put down Suzy as my roommate, as planned, and go up to the room to drop off my stuff.
The room is small but adequate. There are great big windows, so we got a great view of the snow, and a balcony, three beds, a small end table, a dresser for our clothes, and a bathroom. I staked out a bed and went on the balcony and saw Suzy's group. I shout to her, as I am an American and must let the world know, and run downstairs. The situation is now Social +3 and rising. We choose another girl to room with and all settle our stuff in.
That night we have our dinner and after dinner The Site Placement. Ukraine is a huge country, and we placed all 80something of us all around that country. One friend of mine got Odessa, another ended up in Crimea, and I got my site: Zhytomyr. They placed the rest of the groups, which was really hard to pay attention to, as my body was constantly reminding me that I'd had quite a bit to drink. Funny how ceremonies seem that much longer when you have a pressing need.
So, Zhytomyr. What did I know about Zhytomyr? Nothing. I'm a pretty ignorant person when it comes to world geography/politics/history, etc. Ask me anything about Joss Whedon or Battlestar Galactica, and I'm your gal. Ask me to tell you anything about parts of the world and I really don't know. I did find out many of the LCFs are from Zhytomyr, which is really neat, and our Adopt a Cluster person is about 30 minutes from there, and it's about 2 hours away from Kyiv. Score! The really funny thing is this: before I shipped out for Peace Corps--after I was given my job title and country, I looked up Teacher Trainer blogs online. And I came across one from a guy named Daniel. Sure enough, I have his old site. How ironic is that?
We received a piece of paper telling us a little bit: the name of the institute we'd be working at, the name of the person we'd be working with, the approximate population, etc. Suzy's was <5,000. Mine was 100,000-500,000. Or how I like to say it: it's 100,000 give or take 400,000.
We had a break and then met with our regional manager. She's an amazing woman and very funny. There are people who say things to you like: tell me if you have any problems, but the real feeling is that you wouldn't bother. Then there are people who tell you to report any problems and go on to say things like "if there is a problem with food, with family, with site, with X, with Y" and they really let you know that they want things to go well. This woman is the second kind. Which I really appreciate. You want to know that the person you'll be reporting to for the next few years really cares. I lucked out.
So during the meeting we met all the people who will be in our region--I think there are 10 or 12 of us. Thankfully I really like the people there. We also found out who our host families are going to be: names, ages, and pets. So my family consists of a mom and dad, both early 40s, and a 19 year old daughter and 17 year old son. Totally sweet.
The meetings were finally over and we were able to relax. One of the volunteers had contacted me earlier and mentioned she was having a Firefly withdrawal. Firefly is the name of one of the best tv shows ever made, and I'm a big fan. So I brought both the tv show and the movie that was made about it: Serenity. So we're downstairs waiting for one of our friends to get back. I start having a conversation about Star Trek with one of the gals, and we're geeking out chatting about Klingons and Next Generation and I invite her to watch Serenity with us.
We head up to my room and it's cold. Really cold. I set up my laptop and get the movie ready. My friend comes back with two beers for sharing, and we all huddle around the room. We are decked out with blankets and coats and flip off the lights and watch Serenity together. Really, this was a moment of perfect happiness for me. I've felt a bit isolated and like I haven't fit in, and this was a moment when I was doing what I loved and people were doing it with me because they wanted to hang out with me. It was really amazing. Plus, I got to do one of my other favorite things: introduce my favorite tv shows to new people. Three people in the room had never seen Firefly. It was awesome. When it was finished, B and I watched an episode of Angel. It was such a great night.
Sadly, sleep wasn't so amazing. Our room was FREEZING. I slept with my coat on. My warm winter coat and scarf. I had my cuddle blanket with me and I slept with it over my head. I woke up in the morning exhausted, yet in good spirits because I really like the gals I shared a room with. We were deciding on showers. We then decided we'd rather stay in our warm clothes than get undressed and take a maybe-warm shower.
I've learned a few things about myself since coming to Ukraine. First, I learned that I'd rather be stinky than be cold. Really. If I had to take a freezing cold bucket bath, I'd limit my bathing to once a week. Probably. Second, I learned that if you sleep in the clothes you're going to wear the next day it builds up heat and you can be warm throughout the day. I'd rather keep on the shirt I wore to bed last night than change into a freezing cold new shirt. It's a strategy. If I'm going to wear this long sleeved shirt under my sweater, I'll wear it at night in a freezing cold place. It's an excellent strategy. I also have learned that I enjoy comfort. I was listening to other people's stories, and while they're fascinating, I am so thankful that I don't have an "interesting" life, full of outhouses and bucket baths.
One of the women who currently lives in Chernigov with me is going to be living in Zhytomyr as well. She's studying Russian as well, and she's an older volunteer. I suggested to her that we have dinner parties in Zhytomyr, and her response was an enthusiastic YES! I also asked her if she were interested in studying Russian together, and again, a YES!
After having felt so left out of things in Chernigov, it was really nice to have my invitation accepted enthusiastically. When we left to go to Zhytomyr we started talking, and we were having similar experiences within Chernigov, and it was really nice to bond that way. I'm really happy that she's going to be in the same city with me. I'm really happy about it--she's very nice and kind, and has a very interesting life. Plus, she's totally interested in having Sunday brunches and doing trips to Kyiv, etc. I'm really excited.
So we get into Zhytomyr and I'm greeted by a beautiful young woman and a man. First I'm confused--I wonder if she's my counterpart or host family. She's my host sister and the man is my host father. Things are a little overwhelming and I forget all my manners--like saying that it's very nice to meet you. We're waiting for the other woman's people to meet her, so we're waiting around and unsure of what's happening, then her counterpart shows up and we hug goodbye.
Peace Corps Trainees get really nervous about host families. And it's natural. What's this family going to be like? Will they like me? Will they be nice? Where will I be living. It's easy to forget that they have the EXACT same thing going on. They get butterflies and nervous--will the volunteer like us, will she like our cooking, will she like our house, will she be nice and talk to us? It's just as stressful for them as it is for us. I am happy to say that I am really happy with my host family and where I'll be staying. It's one thing to feel like a guest and another thing to feel like family. Feeling like a guest means you feel apart. You are honored, but you are separate. I want something closer.
When I came into the house I was given a small tour. There is a really large living room with a tv in it, my bedroom has a desk and a computer and big comfortable hide-a-bed chair and large wardrobe. The walls are a bright cheery yellow, with small geometric designs on them. There is a large window and green and white curtains. The floors are hardwood with rugs over them. There is a washing machine in the bathroom along with a shower/tub. There is a toilet room, and the mother/father's room. The kitchen is near the front door. It's really nice. The mother was talking really fast in Russian and the daughter was translating. You could tell she was excited nervous and was trying to make a good impression. She was showing me where things were in the kitchen--honey, cooking things, dishes, etc. Then she did the thing that made me feel very included. She had me help set the table and put things on the table. She included me. It felt really nice. Then she said I was family. I don't think I could have asked for a nicer new family to stay with.
My Ukrainian family!
For dinner I had borsch (they'd had some borsch already), and we all ate potatoes and cucumbers and bread. I told them I love to try everything even though I don't enjoy all foods. So I tried all her food and really enjoyed it! We had some wine and shots of vodka. Apparently it's a Ukrainian tradition to have every third toast to be for women. So the father and the brother stood up and toasted to the women, orating nicely. It was really great. After food I brought out my atlas and was showing about Washington. We were talking about differences in America. Apparently Daniel had been to or was from Florida and said that crocodiles/alligators weren't so scary, etc. I said that that was normal for him, but I live in Washington where these don't live and they're very scary to me. I feel like part of my "job" here is to show the diversity of America. They asked me if it was a tradition that Americans don't talk while they eat. I told her it might be true in some houses, but in my house in America we always talk and eat. "How was your day? How was work?"
I grabbed my laptop and started showing pictures. I showed pictures of Chernigov and the mother said "you should take pictures of more pretty things." This was in response to taking pictures of "normal" or "not so pretty" things, like the route I walk to work. I thought I gave an excellent answer. I told her that I wanted to show my friends and family things they can't see in a book. I want to show them my every day life. I want them to feel like they are there. And sure enough, after all the pictures the daughter told me that the mother had said that even though she had never been to Chernigiv she felt like she had been. I told her that was exactly what I wanted.
The room I'm staying in here is the brother's old room. While I live here he's living with his grandmother, who lives close. He's currently a student. The mother said he is enjoying his independence! The daughter sleeps in the living room, and the parents in the other bedroom. I've really learned a lot about Ukrainians in the six weeks I've been here. I've learned that if you are in their inner circle, they will share everything with you. Even their last piece of bread. It's a true "we" culture, and they take care of people. Of course, it's also expected that this be reciprocated, so getting things for the family or giving gifts, or buying food to share is a great way to give back. Chocolates or wine, or small gifts really go a long way. I love buying flowers--it makes me feel like I'm giving to everyone. I've also learned that Ukrainians are very tidy. Their spaces tend to be smaller, so it's usual for someone to sleep in the living room or to get beds that turn into chairs/couches. Because of this, it's essential to keep things tidy--because everyone shares space. Along those lines, everything has multiple uses. Chairs are also storage spaces, knives are potato and carrot peelers, that Hugo Boss plastic bag is used for carrying things to work, etc. I've also learned that Americans generate a LOT of trash. In a Ukrainian home there may be one garbage can (or two--one in the bathroom for toilet paper) and it's SMALL. It's about the size we'd use as a bathroom trash can. Bedrooms don't have trash cans. I also found that I generated as much (if not more) trash than the entire family combined. And I have no idea how.
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